Ben Through Space and Time: August 2008

Money Money Money

And finally, on his 27th birthday, the Tina Jackson, of the US Mint called and asked Ben if he'd mind being on the $50 bill, claiming that her great-great-great-great-great-granduncle

had the $20 bill covered,* but that she didn't give a f*** about Grant.

* True Story
-Tina J.

Ben's return to the states was greeted with cheers, parades, and benefit dinners. No one really knows why.

There, the famed sculptor, Matt Noonan FanPage begged Ben to let him carve a likeness of him into a mountain for all to see. Ben not-so-humbly agreed to decorate 3/4 of the mountainside, claiming "The whole thing would just be overkill."
-Tina

Justice!

Furious about losing his Lady-Love (and his right index finger) to an intergalactic oddball, the Duke, Sir Ryan of Williams, had Ben tried for war crimes and immediately deported back to America.
-Tina

Medieval Times

Having now discovered the secret of a lifetime, Ben decided to try his luck with the ladies. Much to her dismay, he fell immediately in love with the beautiful Gabrielle Sinclair, who was unfortunately engaged to a rich Irish Duke.

Seeing that the only way to win her heart would be in brutal hand-to-hand combat, a battle ensued for her hand in marriage.
-Tina

Benny blow your horn

Ben's first stop was in Scotland where he met his idol, Peter Robards. When asked how he could emulate his hero's natural bullshitting abilities, Peter handed him a bagpipe and gave him the long-coveted secret to success: "It's about being full of hot air."
-Tina

World War 3: Ben Strikes Back

Upon his arrival at the air field, Ben met John "I Like To Go Fast" Chesney, who introduced him to THE MEAT HOUND. John agreed to fly him across the Atlantic.... in exchange for meat. Or hounds.
-Tina

Right in the sweet spot

Compton eventually decided to grow up on Earth because he enjoyed the game of tennis so much.

This is where he met Otis Fine. After losing too many matches to Ben, Fine convinced Compton to sample other parts of the planet. Other - DISTANT - parts of the planet.
-Tina

It begins...

Benjamin (Middle Name) Compton was born on August 17, 1981. He grew up in a humble home in a galaxy far, far away and took pleasure in riding bottle rockets into neighboring star systems.

It was on one of these journeys that he met 'ol Eddie Pina, Wiseman of the Galaxy, who told him Earth was full of "really weird" people, so he'd fit right in.
-Tina